it's been two years since i started this miserable blog of mine. i even failed in documenting what i ate.
so why am i here? i'm here to pour out all the bad feeling that i have in my system today.
i feel betrayed. betrayed. BETRAYED.
i don't even know if it's the right word but it's the only thing that consumes my mind as of the moment.
and oh did i miss the chance of typing that i've been here in jersey for 6 months and i'm staying for 6 more?
life has been quite too fast for me. i learned a lot since the beginning of my unexplainable journey here in the states.
i've experienced 2 seasons, i hate winter and i can already tell that i'm going to hate summer. i just simply hate the extremes.
i like balance and it's somehow funny because i'm awful at balancing things, literally.
aghh know what? i'll write another post about my entire experience here one day. but for now, betrayal is what i want to discuss.
we can't fully know a person unless we stay/live with them for an exaggeratedly long period of time.
the result can be positive, but for this specific "friend" of mine, it's negative.
i just hate her so much my fingers curl and it's giving me a hard time to type.
and guess what? she's singing on the upper bunk of the bed where i'm typing noisily.
she's singing and somehow whispering. what is wrong with her? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????????
she stole my friends. i read somewhere that "professionals stole, amateurs borrow." i guess she's a pro.
i'm so mad at her. but i can't make her feel it. too much is too much. i can't bear to have more burdens.
so the point is, i can't do anything, but type my feelings away, noisily.
and i believe that typing this far made me somehow better even if i didn't do any justice to this post.
i sowed seeds of different kinds of flowers yesterday and i can't wait for them to show their heads up in the soil and more when they begin to bloom. i need leaves, i want color, i want life. spring, come and engulf me with all your beauty. this dull weather is driving me insane.
this post makes no sense at all.